Tuesday, 12 May 2015

"If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them"

How many of you agree to this statement. When I first read it I found myself disagreeing; I took it more literally, viewed it from a cultural perspective. Why should a mother yell at her kids?What kind of mother is she that she needs to communicate through yelling? Again what manners and etiquette is she passing on to her children?

See my logic?

Read the statement again and had a deep look into myself. Thought back and recalled comments given by my child that I yell and show 'disproportionate' amount of reaction to even smaller situations, mundane happenings. Then I asked myself, Am I less of a mother for 'yelling' at my child? Are there mothers who show passivity to all that their children do,good,not so good,anything? Does it make them better mothers than me?

I remember my neighbor who was going through a extended period of post-partum depression. It had made her aloof and silent. She would hardly show any reaction to anything that was happening at home. She was unable to engage with her sons and seemed quite hands off to her children. Her son once told me, "Aunty, if only I knew what Mom thinks really"

Yelling at your kids doesn't mean we are finding faults with them, rather we are finding faults with the situation.It also does not show that there is no love or affection for the children. In contrary it shows our deep involvement with our children at all levels.

 I was wrong to interpret the statement literally.

Yes friends, I would rather yell than stay aloof as I love my child too much to stay silent.

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