Nature Diary


Sundays can be pretty boring at times. Especially when you are alone at home.The heat wave prevents any outdoor movement for a greater part of the day though late evenings are pleasant.

In my early morning walks, I find large number of peacocks and peahens in the colony. Generally I find them perched atop lamp posts with their beautiful tails hanging down or spread fan like. Looking at those brilliant colors I wonder at the artist sitting upstairs.What a difference it makes to our dry and dusty brown,yellow,mud color surroundings.
The pigeons of course take the cake, as far as their population goes here. Rajasthanis firmly believe that putting up bird seeds of all kind daily for our feathered friends adds to the 'punya'. I observe people regularly doing it besides filling the multiple water pots placed strategically. These birds being restless types rarely feed at long stretches and seem to be continuously moving in droves; taking a short circular path above the house,school and again settling down to feed.
As I sit on my porch with my tea, the red bottomed and yellow bottomed hoopees alight near me and start trilling; they are waiting for the biscuit crumbs. I like to think that its the same pair and they kind of recognize me.

I also watch some fellow walkers put sweets or sugar or molasses near ant hills. This ritual is  followed by many in other states also. When I first came to Rajasthan I  found one quaint custom.Housewives, on starting to cook first thing in the morning, would bake one chappati for the dog/cow/crow/any cattle and keep it aside. Thereafter food is cooked for the rest of the family.

The ideology of "Vasudeva Kutumbakam" encompasses not only the world and his family but also the other creatures in it.

Ides Of March


Every year around this time, I go through lot of suffering, mental and physical. The angst is so high that it affects me quite a lot. I run to the loo several times and lose sleep for many days, wake up suddenly at night, get restive, break into a sweat and what not. I curse myself, my colleagues,praise myself, my colleagues,get irritated, think of multiple ways by which I could have done this and that and so on and so forth. Now you may ask me what is so special during this period of time?

Well my dearies, its Result Declaration Time; an annual event when lakhs of students all over India are in state of flux.

To be true to them, they are appearing the schools boards once in their lifetime but I have been appearing the boards since 26 years!!!!!!!
Now I'm sure I have shocked you. You may look at me as a very poor student who could not clear the exams since when.............
Or you may commend  my tenacity of taking the boards every year....

What a situation to be in.

But I am gritty and cling on tenaciously; like a limpet.I am sure you have seen those small monkeys who stick to their mothers while she jumps hither and thither.The baby is sanguine that the mother will never let go and there is absolute blind faith and trust.

I likewise cling to the 'faith' that the result declaration day will bring forth laurels and every year move forward with 'trust'.


You see...............I head a school.

The Times of India GRAFFITI today read

"Kids disgrace us in public by acting the way we do in private"



I found it very interesting and revealing. It speaks volumes about us, adults. I do not know how many of you will agree with me or have the courage to admit this banal truth publicly.

To top it all we say that 'we' are the best parents,teachers,grandparents,relatives,mentors and so on.We also claim to have done many 'sacrifices' for our children. The important question here is not how many but how. 

My Pet Fears

I have always been afraid to face certain things in life and some of them are failure, loneliness and illness. People often say that God tests us by making us go thru many crises to check us out or to make us stronger. My question to the person sitting upstairs is- Why couldn't you choose someone else to make them stronger, brighter like steel? At times I feel that the theory of more-of-the-same-kind is good  is pretty flawed.Does going again and again through many problems make you stronger or weakens and kills you finally. It is hard to say for sure.

All books written by those know-all self development gurus( believe me the world is full of them!) assure you of success if you keep on trying. I also agree to it.
I only ask God
"Hey buddy, why do not you choose some other lucky guy?" "I could recommend some(sic)"
"What if you lessen the period and add a few rainbows to it?"
"What if you could just bypass me this time?"

All these and many more of the same kind. I hope you get my drift

I have often read the adage that if life has handed you lemons, make lemonade.

Ugh! Imagine sustaining oneself on lemonade only. Surely we deserve some wine now and then?
Also think what all these vast quantities of 'lemonade' will do to your 'insides'.

Dear Lord, pl send some apples once in a while and if you can add strawberries to it.............WOW

Sputnik: 5 WAYS TO RECOGNIZE A BULLYWe all have met bull...

Sputnik: 5 WAYS TO RECOGNIZE A BULLY


We all have met bull...: 5 WAYS TO RECOGNIZE A BULLY We all have met bullies sometime or other in life. Bullies have distinct characteristics and can be identifi...

5 WAYS TO RECOGNIZE A BULLY


We all have met bullies sometime or other in life. Bullies have distinct characteristics and can be identified by some intrinsic behavioral features. The class bully,the office bully,the family bully,etc all are present with us but we fail to recognize them early on in our interactions with them.

Bullying tendencies in children start very early in life. Nobody can say how and at what age it starts specifically. But I think the family environment plays a big role to its development. The child often feels sidelined when a sibling comes in to the family. He may feel unloved or neglected or worse still consider the new baby as instrumental for this new situation. He then deeply resents the brother/sister and simply takes to making it difficult for him/her.
Alternatively he may be from a dysfunctional family or have strong feelings of neglect for multiple reasons like poverty,constant strife in family,too little attention from parent,targeted in class for his race,color, physical attributes,etc

We need to recognize these kind of people. So here goes; 5 easy tips

1.Bullies love to 'talk down'
This is always the first aspect. Bullies love to talk big, throw their weight around, speak loudly, dress loudly,  posture aggressively and generally treat others as inferior to them


2. Bullies love to 'give pain'
Use of slang,twisting arms,heckling,pushing,organizing serious and harmful pranks causing physical and mental pain gives them a high. The feeling of distress to others makes them feel they are one-up


3. Bullies will always have ' groups'
Bullies will invariably collect a group of followers around them. Following is important for them both as a shield and as a means to cow down others outside the group.The adulation of  group members keeps them going.Its like a parasitic relationship.


4.Bullies generally will have 'disturbed family back ground'
Dysfunctional families, divorced,separated parents, strife in family gives rise to anger which the bullies pour out on others.Lack of appreciation from family and friends,school and work organisations tend to bring out the worst in them.


5. Bullies will generally be 'poor'
Poor student,poor employee,poor parent.......all are common to them.Poor academic standards lead to poor achievements in life. Bullies lack proper guidance, mentorship which makes them poor workers later. To hide all these, bullying becomes a way of social transactions both in personal and professional areas.


There are many other attributes which can be of higher level and more dangerous to the ones listed above. The important point is to recognize and take self-preservation actions at the right time.

When the world conspired to spoil my day 


Some days just start like that. It's like everything is destined to go wrong. You are late leaving the bed,late for your walk,exercises,the newspaper has not been delivered with the milk.And to top it all your maid, yes you have guessed it right, rings up to inform she is not coming for the next two days..................................did she have a premonition about the refrigerator breaking down the previous night?

Wow! what a start

You go to the kitchen and start thinking about breakfast and lunch, seriously now. You are absolutely clueless( I know what the self righteous do-it-yourself moms are thinking now about me!)

That nagging question, "Aaj kya banayein? Shall I manage with bread?Should I ring up and find out what is available at the corner shop?The kids will love it. Aren't they always nagging for something chatpata?"

You have now successfully negotiated that problem of breakfast. Now casting a dirty look at the sink and taking a deep breath you start attacking the dishes, all the while cursing your hard luck, the maid,your neighbors and the world in general.

Remember that question-aaj kya banayein still is bothering you, when you have brainwave, an absolute spectacular flash!
Wasn't chotu complaining about stomach ache last night and now see he has gorged himself of all that junk food, kind courtesy breakfast. REALLY.

You head into the living room and announce clear and loud

OK, EVERYBODY. ITS  KHICHRI  FOR LUNCH!!!!!!!!!

"If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them"

How many of you agree to this statement. When I first read it I found myself disagreeing; I took it more literally, viewed it from a cultural perspective. Why should a mother yell at her kids?What kind of mother is she that she needs to communicate through yelling? Again what manners and etiquette is she passing on to her children?

See my logic?

Read the statement again and had a deep look into myself. Thought back and recalled comments given by my child that I yell and show 'disproportionate' amount of reaction to even smaller situations, mundane happenings. Then I asked myself, Am I less of a mother for 'yelling' at my child? Are there mothers who show passivity to all that their children do,good,not so good,anything? Does it make them better mothers than me?

I remember my neighbor who was going through a extended period of post-partum depression. It had made her aloof and silent. She would hardly show any reaction to anything that was happening at home. She was unable to engage with her sons and seemed quite hands off to her children. Her son once told me, "Aunty, if only I knew what Mom thinks really"

Yelling at your kids doesn't mean we are finding faults with them, rather we are finding faults with the situation.It also does not show that there is no love or affection for the children. In contrary it shows our deep involvement with our children at all levels.

 I was wrong to interpret the statement literally.

Yes friends, I would rather yell than stay aloof as I love my child too much to stay silent.

Managing Teenager Angst

Teenagers are a tricky lot. It is difficult to predict what they are feeling and what they want to express. Their desire to assert themselves and create an identity of their own surfaces during this period and emotional storms are a normal thing. To a large extent their friends start exerting a considerably bigger influence on them than family.

While parents tend to be protective of wards in general, they are specifically worried about the new influences coming into their teenage sons/daughters. Again here fathers react differently to a teenager than the mothers. To understand this one needs to understand that for the father the son is basically coming into the age when he feels extremely comfortable to relate to the adultish pursuits while the mother views it as the child cutting his apron strings and moving out to 'other women' in his life who might be his classmates, girlfriends, lady tutors,etc.Their strong opinions,likes and dislikes color their judgement and often situations affecting or involving them tend to get out of hand.

Teenagers may view the love of his parents as 'conditional or 'restrictive' and rebel against it.It often comes out as
 "You do not listen to me"
"I do not have say in this house"
"Nobody cares a damn"
"No, I won't do this"
"Why can't I watch TV till late?"
"What's wrong with chatting with friends?" and so on................

Dealing with a teenager at home is almost like walking on eggshells.

Yeah, all parents out there

Take a deep breath and start again

Watched an old movie today "The Blind Side" The story of Michael Oher, a homeless and traumatized boy who became an All American football player and first round NFL draft pick with the help of a caring woman and her family.The mother played by Sandra Bullock and Micheal played by Quinton Aaron in the movie was really great. The woman who starts initially as 'Lady Bountiful' and later becomes the genuine caregiver and motivator for the boy was something to watch.You could see the bumbling boy slowly coming to grasp the changes happening around him and responding to the new environment and finally overcoming all his inhibitions to become the confident man

It was a "Mother's Day" movie. Good one.

It reminds us of what we, who are blessed with so much,can do for the society, if we want to.Most of us are busy denouncing the authorities, our neighbors,our relatives,friends but forget what we as individuals can do to contribute to society.

It  profoundly reminds us of the importance and impact of a 'mother'. We need to take this responsibility seriously and understand its many nuances. Putting food on the table or getting the child ready for school or taking him to the dentist doesn't define our role. Nor does it impact the child.A mother can and should do much more and one of the things she needs to do is to lead by example.

What else did I do today? 

Baked a cake and made some yummy chicken.Both turned out super. Gulls presented me a painting,my m.day gift.

Thank you son.Hope I am a good mother to you. 

One more day to go and school will close.While addressing morning assembly today I wished children safe holiday and asked them if they were waiting for the holidays? Got the answer in their smiles and sparkling eyes.
There are very contrasting views on whether these long summer holidays add to the academic excellence or add any value to their progress. Studies in the US have shown that assessment done after the long holidays yield lower results than assessment done during the course of an academic year. In contrast in another study it was found that students from affluent families tend to do much better than their counterparts from poor families. Reason?
Affluent parents keep scheduling their children's holidays by sending them to new and varied experiences; a dance class, a drama class,a language course, trips to museums,exhibitions, summer camps,an extra tuition for weak subjects,etc. Whereas children from poorer homes will enjoy their summer but it will not help them to hone their skills and increase their knowledge.Poor parents are too busy earning their living to care or even think of channelizing their children's long holidays into such activities.Moreover these parents 'leave' all this to schools and thereby fail to realize the immense role they can play in parenting their children.

Concluding part of the short story.............THE TEA-STALL

During those long summer months Kalu made several visits to the school, always to drop something off; tea, coffee, packets of biscuits, etc. Then one day, walking along the corridor, past an open door,he felt something cold against his skin. Kalu stopped. What was it? How could the air suddenly become this icy? Slowly he inched forward and peeped into the room. Well at first glance it seemed empty, when in the gloom he spied somebody. Of course he knew that man. It was Masterji, who often stopped for tea and chatted with Chachu.

Quickly he backed out and ran back silently out of the gate. Phew! Hope masterji had not noticed him. He did not want Chachu to get any complaints. He wanted to continue visiting the school.

Evening came and all at once Kalu found Masterji at the tea stall standing quietly and sipping tea. Kalu was scared, heart beating fast. What if Masterji had noticed him peeping inside the rooms? Would he tell ?

“Beta, come here”

It was Masterji calling at him. Kalu approached, fear dilating his pupils. “yes sir” replied Kalu.

“Would you like to study in the evening?”

“I don’t know sir” replied Kalu, looking over his shoulder at Chachu. Chachu was listening to the exchange; hands poised mid air in the act of pouring tea.

“What do you say, Bhola Bhaiya” Masterji asked Chachu raising his voice. “Can you spare him for an hour in the evening?”

Chachu was silent, confusion writ clearly on his face. He could not decide where his duty lay. He remembered Kalu ‘s question to him that night, the day he had visited the school for the first time. His own children, Reena and Hari, were studying in schools. Wasn’t it why he was toiling so hard, far away in the city? All these flashed through his mind.

“Ji Masterji,  why not?”

“When can he start?” “Can he come after the shop closes every day?” replied Chachu

Masterji nodded and patted Kalu on the back. “Let’s start today. Come around at 9pm”, said Masterji

Kalu’s eyes were shining, bright with tears. He gazed stunned at Chachu and gave a tremulous watery smile. Chachu smiled back. Here was his reward.

                                                                       THE END

Second part of my short story.............THE TEA-STALL

Summer had reached the city and everything was boiling. Kalu could make out the irritation and heat in the words of the customers. The lazy chitchat, hands lovingly holding on to the heat of the glasses of tea had disappeared. It seemed everyone was in a hurry, rushing, rushing away to the cool confines of their homes, impatient to cool off wanting to take off the dust and heat of the sun.

Summer had brought quiet to the street, the buses no longer plying. No laughing children, no daily bells and closing of gates. Only the lone chowkidar at the gates.

Kalu looked up at the skies, steel blue and hurting, not a shred of wind. He yearned for his village, the riverside frolic with his friends. He felt alone, completely alone far away from the loud noises, the blaring music from the barber shop nearby, the shouts of the cart pullers, the cacophony of myriad voices…

“Kalu, Oye Kalu, come here”

Kalu woke up, it was his uncle. Swiftly he ran inside, “yes Chachu”

“Son, go to the school and deliver this jug. Be careful, it’svery hot” “Its coffee”

“ Go inside and ask the chowkidar where to deliver”

Kalu was stunned. Finally he will be able to go inside the gates! What luck. He couldn’t believe his ears.

Carefully balancing the jug with both hands Kalu reached the other side and walked timidly to the chowkidar

“Sir, I have brought coffee, where should I deliver it?” The chowkidar looked up, busy chatting on his mobile.

“Go inside the building, somebody will guide you to the pantry”

Kalu ran inside, his bare feet almost soundless along the corridors,eyes darting here and there,open in wonderment. So many rooms,such cool walls.Ah! what was that? Something written and bright like a splash against the walls. He could not understand but the colors seemed to speak to him,bursting into his soul.Kalu was mesmerized and stood rooted to the spot.

“Oye, beta…who are you? “Are you the tea seller? Did you bring the coffee?” One after the other, the questions brought him out of his reverie. Oh yes, the coffee. My goodness,what was he thinking?

“Yes,sir,here it is”

“Come,quick. You are already late, don’t dawdle”. Here is the money. Do not loiter,mind you.You may go now” the peon admonished.

Kalu went back along the corridor but his steps slowed down as he neared that wall. What could it mean,what did the words say? Should he ask somebody? A million questions seemed to crowd his mind. Tentatively he put out a hand, softly touching the bright colors

Kalu could not forego this chance of exploring. Slowly with trepidation he went along the corridors and looked at the closed doors wondering what could be inside.  “ What did they the kids do inside?” “what did they learn?” How he longed to find out.

He tried to look inside the windows but they were all barred making him think of his own barriers.

 Lying on the bed  that night, Kalu’s mind went back to that splash of colors like a magnet. The bright oranges,bold reds,the pastel greens reminded him of his village,the summer skies,the sunsets,the soft sunrises above the green fields. He could see himself running with his sister, hand in hand amidst  the yellow mustard fields. “Bhaiya,bhaiya” echoing off the hills.

Watch this space for the concluding part

                                                              

Everyone is against working on Sundays.....Bible says its a rest day, so does other religions. Just to think objectively about this, why do we need rest? What is it that happens on Sunday which is so much needed?

What do we all do? Sleep late, of course

Or get up real early go for a walk and then enjoy the cup of tea lazily chatting with your partner,parents or flipping  the newspaper

Or many of us spend time planning the day's menu or the day's outing 

Or for some it starts with work, yeah, sheer hard work of the grinding type. So what's this work. Oh yes, attacking the week's clothes,the week's ironing,checking your child's homework,the pending paperwork and finally meeting the demands of the kids vis-a-vis food! Everyone automatically expects a sumptuous lunch AND a special dinner.

No wonder the lady of the house doesn't get a "sunday". 

So who thinks about it? Not sure.

What happens to the homemakers? Do they earn Sundays or they not entitled to one? I leave the question open for you all.

Here is my first short story.......check it out. Do not forget to post your comments. Next part on Monday.


THE TEA-STALL
                 Ipsita Choudhury


       Kalu  stood in front of the shop, under the tree, watching as he always did, the bus disgorging its occupants. The children, tumbling out excitedly chattering and laughing as they streamed in through the school gates. Lines of buses all bringing students to the school. This was a scene he was never tired of watching. Then he heard the bell and the gates closed bringing him back to earth.

Kalu’s day had begun early, washing and scrapping the utensils, cleaning out the tables and shelves before the first customers arrived for the early morning cuppa. The owner, his distant uncle, had brought him from his village and put him to work. Kalu remembered that day well. How could he forget? The trauma of leaving his little sister, his friends back home and being thrust into the hustle bustle of the city. Now his life was confined to that ten ft by eight ft tea stall; his workplace and home.

Late that night Kalu asked his uncle, “Chachu, what do these children do within those high walls?” “Can I go in and look?”

Chachu remained silent, suddenly waking up with a jolt to the fact that Kalu too was a child, curious and impatient to discover. What could he reply. He said, “Go to sleep child, tomorrow is again a long day”

Silently Kalu turned aside and drifted off to sleep thinking of wonderful magical things inside those gates. Those high walls seemed to mesmerize him, making him yearn to discover the unexplored…..if only he could discover the key to this unknown magic world.