Tuesday 19 May 2015

5 WAYS TO RECOGNIZE A BULLY


We all have met bullies sometime or other in life. Bullies have distinct characteristics and can be identified by some intrinsic behavioral features. The class bully,the office bully,the family bully,etc all are present with us but we fail to recognize them early on in our interactions with them.

Bullying tendencies in children start very early in life. Nobody can say how and at what age it starts specifically. But I think the family environment plays a big role to its development. The child often feels sidelined when a sibling comes in to the family. He may feel unloved or neglected or worse still consider the new baby as instrumental for this new situation. He then deeply resents the brother/sister and simply takes to making it difficult for him/her.
Alternatively he may be from a dysfunctional family or have strong feelings of neglect for multiple reasons like poverty,constant strife in family,too little attention from parent,targeted in class for his race,color, physical attributes,etc

We need to recognize these kind of people. So here goes; 5 easy tips

1.Bullies love to 'talk down'
This is always the first aspect. Bullies love to talk big, throw their weight around, speak loudly, dress loudly,  posture aggressively and generally treat others as inferior to them


2. Bullies love to 'give pain'
Use of slang,twisting arms,heckling,pushing,organizing serious and harmful pranks causing physical and mental pain gives them a high. The feeling of distress to others makes them feel they are one-up


3. Bullies will always have ' groups'
Bullies will invariably collect a group of followers around them. Following is important for them both as a shield and as a means to cow down others outside the group.The adulation of  group members keeps them going.Its like a parasitic relationship.


4.Bullies generally will have 'disturbed family back ground'
Dysfunctional families, divorced,separated parents, strife in family gives rise to anger which the bullies pour out on others.Lack of appreciation from family and friends,school and work organisations tend to bring out the worst in them.


5. Bullies will generally be 'poor'
Poor student,poor employee,poor parent.......all are common to them.Poor academic standards lead to poor achievements in life. Bullies lack proper guidance, mentorship which makes them poor workers later. To hide all these, bullying becomes a way of social transactions both in personal and professional areas.


There are many other attributes which can be of higher level and more dangerous to the ones listed above. The important point is to recognize and take self-preservation actions at the right time.

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