Is Introspection the Mirror We Forget to Look Into? 

When was the last time you truly “met” yourself? 

 

This morning, I came across a quote that made me pause: “Talk to yourself daily, otherwise you may miss meeting a wonderful person.” 

For a moment, I wasn’t sure what to make of it. 

Was it self-praise? Sarcasm? Or something deeper? A little reflection clarified it for me. 

“Talk to yourself” is simply an invitation to introspect. 

“A wonderful person” is the self you often forget to meet. 

And “daily” because change begins with consistent self-awareness. 

 

I often tell my students to introspect. 

*Recall the day. 

*Replay moments. 

*Write them down if possible. 

Ask: 

   👉What went well today and why? 

   👉What didn’t and what triggered it? 

   👉What were the exact words used? 

   👉Was the tone defensive, dismissive, hurtful or carrying a hint of hurt? 

 

Then comes the real work: taking corrective action. 

A sincere apology. A brief explanation. Or a conscious promise not to repeat the same mistake. 

And that’s when you “meet” the wonderful person within you. 

 

Because every time we correct ourselves, mentally, emotionally, behaviourally, we evolve. 

We discover our qualities, our humility, and most importantly, our capacity to change. 

No wonder Swami Vivekananda reminded us: “Talk to yourself, otherwise you may miss meeting someone truly wonderful.” 

 

A reminder worth revisiting every single day. 

…………………………………………………… 

💥 Ipsita Choudhury, School Leader 

💥 I write about School Leadership, Learners & My Journeys. 

💥 I post every Friday, Saturday & Sunday at 9 AM IST (https://www.linkedin.com/in/ipsita-choudhury/)

💥 Press 🔔 to stay updated

DRESS LIKE YOU ARE GOING TO RECEIVE AN AWARD 

Dressing is far more than choosing what to wear. 

For young people, it is often the first meaningful form of self-expression, an early step in discovering identity, confidence, and personal voice. 

Long before we speak, our appearance communicates our mindset:

 *Am I prepared? 

*Do I value myself? 

*Am I ready for the day? 

You don’t need luxury brands or overflowing wardrobes to make a strong impression. 

What truly matters is intention. 

Colours that energize you, outfits that make you stand upright, and styles that feel authentic can shift your confidence in powerful ways. 

Good dressing is a subtle form of self-care. 

It builds self-esteem, encourages participation, supports positive body language, and quietly shapes a young person's growing identity. 

 

As students step into the larger world, college, internships, interviews, their appearance becomes their first introduction. 

Dressing thoughtfully isn’t vanity; it’s awareness. 

It signals respect for oneself, for the opportunity ahead, and for the people one is about to meet. 

Dressing well is never about being fancy. It’s about showing up as the best version of yourself. 

 

How can educators help? 

   *Educators can guide students 

   *By framing dressing sense as a life skill rather than a rule. 

   *Encouraging healthy self-expression 

   *Discuss appropriateness for different settings, and

   *Emphasize self-respect over comparison 

Many schools in India have started grooming classes; it can help young people build a style that is confident, responsible, and uniquely their own. 

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💥 Ipsita Choudhury, School Leader 

💥 I write about School Leadership, Learners & My Journeys 

💥 I post every Friday, Saturday & Sunday at 9 AM IST on LinkedIn(www.linkedin.com/in/ipsita-choudhury-4494873b) 

🔔 Connect & follow to stay updated

🌱 The Happiness of New Things First Times are Miracles Disguised as Moments. 

Ever wondered how it feels to hold a win in your hands for the very first time? 

 Remember the first poem you read out in the class? 

The first debate you wrested from your opponent? The first time your name was announced from the podium and you walked proudly to the stage? 

That glow after the win, the warm, fuzzy feeling that lingers the next morning and stays for days, can’t quite be compared to anything else. 

 

We never forget that moment. It becomes a prized memory. 

 

In my early years as a young teacher, my father would often say, “Every student should be rewarded. Give every child five points- just for facing the class, for reciting a table, for simply coming forward and standing there.” 

I’d laugh and say, “Dad, that’s not how it’s done.” In retrospect, I understand what he meant. 

There was deep psychology behind those words. 

Every child should be rewarded — because rewards are powerful extrinsic motivators. 

 

Here’s what they do to a child’s psyche: 

⭐ Build confidence 

⭐ Reinforce positive behaviour 

⭐ Increase the likelihood of success 

⭐ Tap into a student’s intrinsic desire to do well 

⭐ Make them aware of their own growth 

⭐ Strengthen their sense of competence 

⭐ Help them see success as achievable 

 

Each new achievement — no matter how small — is a spark. 

That spark is The Happiness of New Things. 

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💥 Hello, I’m Ipsita Choudhury, School Leader 

💥 I write about School Leadership, Learners & My Journeys 

💥 I post every Friday, Saturday & Sunday at 9 a.m. IST (LinkedIn)

💥 Connect and press 🔔 to stay updated

 THE DAY WHEN MY SCHOOL LEARNT WHAT INCLUSION REALLY MEANS

What happens to a School when 20 students from an impoverished background is suddenly admitted to a school?

 

In year 2010, 20 students were admitted under a Rajasthan Govt sponsored scheme to our school, all hailing from the Sansi community. Parents were either into scavenging work, some without jobs, while some were into illegal activities.

 

After the initial “shock” to the parents,students and teacher community, things settled down. The initial challenges were about hygiene- these students didn’t know about the concept of daily baths, brushing, combing or plaiting hair. Many had no shoes,came in chappals. They all came to school on an as-is basis. The Govt did not provide for shoes,stationary and like. In any case, what they provided as reimbursement of fees, books,etc was not enough. 

Teachers and myself, all chipped in. We got shoes from an NGO, I bought tiffin boxes and stationary boxes. School provided notebooks. We allotted a support staff for helping the children with brushing hair, polishing shoes,etc.

The next challenge was acceptance and integration with other students; parents were adamant, demanding creation of separate section while we were determined to integrate them with others. Claims of abusive language, pilfering, stealing of school items were rampant, some true while some were fictitious.

Another challenge was bridging the gap between what school was expecting and what was actually the reality. The struggle was uphill and quite difficult. Some teachers were gung-ho with the extra work while others claimed it was difficult to work.  One teacher who till today is in my conscience was an aged otherwise mature lady, who point blank refused, claiming that she could not work with these students as they “smelled”. That was the day when I actually felt deep anger, made me more determined to prove everyone wrong. My resolve to prove that these children mattered became harder and stronger.

 What happened next?

Life happened. Over the years; these kids found their passion and became excellent sports persons, public speakers, singers. Every event, function, trip was their calling card. Their persona changed, self esteem grew. They became their own person.

 

This batch of students passed out their AISSE in year 2023. The lowest percentage within the group was 60% while the highest was 86%.

 

Of all the 39 years I worked as Principal, this batch will remain in my heart forever.

…………………………………………..

 💥 Ipsita Choudhury, School Leader
💥 I write about School Leadership, Learners & My Journeys
💥 I post every Friday, Saturday & Sunday at 9 AM IST

 

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NIGHT WITH THE MOUSE

                                                                                                                         Ipsita Choudhury

 

Last night was an adventure; a fight of wills, a show of ingenuity. Protagonists? I and a Mouse. Not a meager weakling thing but a big brown-black healthy mouse with a long tail, its plump body shining and sharp teeth glistening through the dark. Clicking off the lights, I suddenly realized that I was looking at two shining eyes peering out into the dark at me. I hate rats,mice and all such. First reaction fear followed by disgust.

I knew I had to do something, so reluctantly at first but with determination I at last zoomed on my weapon of choice; a long handled broom. The dance to death started around 3pm and continued a good two hours till dawn. Faced with a challenge to evict the rodent, I resorted to all the agility and cleverness at my disposal. In fact, I surprised myself with the jumps and climbs I carried out on the furniture- bed to table, table to almirah, almirah to bed and so on. The mouse was resilient, leading me on to a merry dance around the room clearly outfoxing me with its small size and ability to wriggle into corners, nooks and crannies.

Varieties of evil thoughts ran in my brain, should I bring a pot of boiling water and pour it on the fellow or will hot oil do the trick? Wish I had a machete, or a sharp blunt long handled blade. I could spear the damn bastard and then show it as a prize. Or better still cut it into pieces and say RIP. A clever movie I had seen had this blessing R.I.P; Rest in Pieces. Well, all my blood thirsty genes handed down by my forefathers had woken up, edging me on in a fight to the finish.Was there even an iota of remorse or regret for such evil thoughts? No, not at all. In fact, I reveled on it.

So, the question to be answered now, who won? Well we compromised; the Mouse and I. I opened the windows and it climbed out. I could not do the dastardly act finally, not because I developed conscience but because I was not swift enough. Age and swiftness was on his side and he escaped. God Bless him

Travel Tales

Last summer we visited Ajanta and Ellora caves and had the opportunity to see first hand the rock carvings and paintings. The Ellora caves are divided into 3 groups; the Jainism caves, the Buddhist ones and then the Hinduism related ones

The first batch we visited had huge sculptures of the gods and goddesses of the Hindu pantheon, Shiva and his various forms, Durga or the Shakti in her various incarnations and some highly decorative scenes from the Ramayana with intricate carvings of floral designs.

The Jain caves had beautiful murals with Lord Mahavira and the various tirthankars sculpted out of huge rock faces.It also had spaces carved out for the bhikshus. The Buddhist ones were more or less designed on same lines with alcoves for the bhikshus to study and meditate.

The most interesting were Caves no-1 to 16 where the whole rock edifice had been so sculpted to hold the mountain with exquisite elephants. The surrounding caves had different forms of Shiva in all his glory including his postures from Tandava.

The immense spread and grandeur of the edifice makes you feel insignifcant and at the same time fills you with wonder. Imagine a time when there were no modern present day gadgets, no new fangled technology and yet Man could think and build such huge symmetrical and aesthetically beautiful structures. It is a testimony to his ingenuity and nature. 

COLLEGE CONUNDRUM

Whole of 2017, I spent in tracking my son's progress through the final years of his school graduation. Then came, the long and tedious process of college applications.

The first realisation was that there is no central body to regulate admissions in any state across various courses.

Except for the admission process carried out by the JoSSA and NEET body, others are all scattered and extremely chaotic. All states have a separate admission process and one has to  comprehend layers of literature(res rules and regulations) and then proceed. Most parents neither have the patience nor time to wade through the entire process and JUST GIVE UP.
Result-Private Colleges.

The Government has practically outsourced higher education to private players with no regulation on either the admission process or on the fees they charge. This is all under the fancy name of ENTREPRENEURSHIP!!!

Recently, a younger friend/colleague of mine was arguing about Govt's role in regulation of fees. She said that it was rather like asking Apple to sell iPhone for a lower price. Private schools or colleges should decide own fees entirely with no role of state.
My argument is that education should be outsourced/privatized ONLY and ONLY when we have achieved the objective of "quality-education-for-all" through state run institutions. People who opt out of these can then have the luxury of going to institutions which cater for niche education for the select few/gifted/etc. Education should not be the fiefdom of the rich and powerful who treat it as a machinery to churn out more profit.


The second realisation was the way the reservation system works in India. Being a General category student in our country is bad business. To a layman, reservation means SC/ST/OBC. Once you start filling forms you suddenly realise the different categories
SC
ST
OBC
SINGLE GIRL CHILD(in some states)
POW
WAR WIDOW
BORDER AREAS
J&K MIGRANT
BC
RELIGIOUS MINORITY
PHYSICALLY HANDICAPPED
TERRORIST VICTIMS
SPORTS QUOTA
NRI
EX-SERVICEMEN
DEPENDENT OF ARMED FORCES KILLED IN ACTION
FREEDOM FIGHTER QUOTA


People talk of Finland's education system a lot where the state runs all schools and colleges through the taxes collected from the population. There is no fees, no examination, no burden of homework till you reach a certain age. The compulsory education system in Finlan consists of a nine-year comprehensive schooling from ages 7 to 16 which is mandatory. Home schooling is rare
All Nordic countries(Denmark,Finland,Iceland,Sweden,Norway) provide higher education free of charge for their own citizens and until recently even for international students(now only Finland.Germany,Iceland and Norway do not collect fees from International students). 

India needs to do a lot in the education sector and the sad part is that not much is happening in this area. It is low priority area for everyone.

The story of my name

There was this couple...........................probably wanting a son; they already had 2 daughters. They had this INTENTION to have son.Nothing was expressed but the desire was there, latent.Never spoken,never voiced but alive always in their minds.
So what happens on the D-day?
A child is born,upside down. Neither the nurse nor the doctor can make out the sex of the child. A few exclamations...............oh it's a boy, a boy!!!

Lo and Behold, the child is lifted up and turns out to be a girl. So the INTENTION becomes INTENDED 

Sputnik: CONFUSIONS GALORERead today in FACEBOOK"Not ev...

Sputnik: CONFUSIONS GALORE

Read today in FACEBOOK

"Not ev...: CONFUSIONS GALORE Read today in FACEBOOK "Not everything about yourself needs to be known by others" My comment was-EXACTL...

CONFUSIONS GALORE

Read today in FACEBOOK

"Not everything about yourself needs to be known by others"
My comment was-EXACTLY

Many of you will not agree. Many will.
We see thousands of people baring everything on social media leading to an overflow of information.Most of it is pretty inane and much of it is downright offensive.

The young are more into the game and hang on very word,emoji,emoticon somebody may have posted as if their very life hinges on it.
Middle age group is about flaunting their holiday abroad,kids,cars,houses......................in that order
Older people are into gyaan and by the truckloads!

It is a game of oneupmanship with a little bit of verbal fisticuffs thrown in for the sake of masala.

This whole hanging -by -thread -to- FB/Twitter has led to very common scenes in public/private spaces.I will share some which I have observed;

*visitors coming to your house and showing pics in their mobile, no other conversation
*a whole group of people in a restaurant busy on their mobiles and eating whatnot without actually seeing what it is
*daily passengers in local trains/buses immersed head down on their groups
*people teaxting and walking on roads impervious to safety

And now some conversations:

Arrey koi hai?- searching desperately for some soul in the grp in the dead of night
Kya raha hai?-  conversation gambits every 6 seconds
Grt! Awesome dude! LOL!ROFL! @#$....-leading comments
Song clippings- indirect hints to some friend like a Whodunnit

Where in this is actual conversation?

                           RANDOM THOUGHTS

Today morning read the following quote

"Talk to yourself daily, otherwise you may miss meeting a wonderful person"

For a moment I was stunned. Is it self praise, is it sarcasm or what? On reflecting for a bit, I concluded what the quote meant.
Talk to yourself?  means introspect.
You may miss meeting a wonderful person? Who is this person? It is you.
Daily? Yes.................because only when we introspect daily can we bring changes in ourselves.

Often I tell my students, pl introspect. Further I add, recall what you did the whole day, write down if possible and then analyse why certain actions went well while others did not. Can we remember the exchange? what were the exact words? tone? was it offensive,defensive? was it hurtful? or maybe a hint of being hurtful? Next step is to do whatever you can to rectify the situation..............a sincere apology, a note explaining your perspective or simply not repeating the same again.

Now meeting this wonderful person. How do you do it?
When you have taken the corrective action, you change yourself both physically and mentally and you meet yourself. Isn't it something great when we realize our qualities including our ability to change?

No wonder the great seer, Swami Vivekanada was telling the truth when he said, "Talk to yourself, otherwise........................................."

2016 is a leap year. 2016 adds to 9. Number 9 is supposed to be the most powerful no in numerology. It's quite an odd number also as one can see in nature its impact; 9 planets,9 rasas, 9 seats in Akbar's court or any other king's court in ancient India, etc. In the Hindu system the no 9 is beyond the manifest universe, a number of unchangeable consciousness. It also refers to completion.
It is the last in the series of primary whole nos, 9 is a number of completion of the soul and is also considered mystical. The no 9 is unique in the Vedic Square- it repeats itself 21 times! By joining the mid-points of the square of any of the nine nos, a diagram can be obtained.

So let the year be beneficial for all. We all have an extra day to prove it.

New Resolutions for 2016

As every year I have set some goals for 2016; some personal and some professional. I will list the personal ones here.

• Lose weight
• Eat healthy including lots of fruits
• Achieve a degree for some teaching subject
• Read some 30-40 new books
• Do meditation and yoga on daily basis
• Visit the Shirdi Baba shrine in May-June

The year is just going to start and I am full of hope and conviction of fulfilling all my goals.I have come to the realization that eating healthy is the key to rooting out all problems.Regular studying and cogitating keeps the mind alert and happy.

 HAPPY NEW YEAR TO MYSELF

Twisty travel tales

The latest in fleecing people of small change is observed in toll booths while driving down the highways.This trend is also seen amongst vegetable sellers,small shops; what we call kirana stores or our neighbourhood grocer's.
I am sure you know what I am talking of.
Yes, the 50 paise or 25 paise candy which is passed on to the customer in lieu of small change with a plea...."chutta nahi hai"
 The height of this practice was when recently I was given a 5/ worth packet of haldiram namkeen at the toll booth! Duh! I was flabbergasted and in the process was speechless. What to do? Accept and drive on or throw it back on his face and face the ire of the other drivers lined up behind me and honking impatiently. Of course you know, it was this psychology the chap was playing upon......................which driver would pick up a fight for such a lowly item during peak hour traffic.

So on I drove, wondering what instructions the Road and Surface Transport Ministry or whoever that implements these toll taxes must be getting? Would my-friendly-neighbourhood-tollgate next supply me with samosas and kachoris and perhaps some sweets to go with them? The conversation would go something like this
Law Abiding Citizen(LAC)-65 ka ticket dena(giving a Rs 100 note), chutta nahi hai
Law Abiding Tollbooth Guy(LATG)- yeh lo, 65 ka ticket and 10 ka samosa, 20 ki kachori aur 5 ki tofee
LAC- eh heh....(gulp)..eh...eh...
LATG- sauce free hai............................enjoy
LAC(wobbling at the wheels)- yeh, yeh...samosa? kachori?
LATG- aage baro...can't you see green light is blinking?
LAC- par chutta.................?
LATG-poore ho gaye.

Period

I am seriously thinking of stocking up on some tiffin boxes to store these toffees,candies,some samosas(maybe),etc when next I approach the toll gate on any journey.Why spoil the fun........maybe I can buy some gulabjamuns to go with it down the road

The Art of Persuasion



We all have had that experience, buying things even when we know it is not really needed. While I won't go into the details of shopping instinct, shopaholics,et al, One thing which we have encountered in this experience(shopping without meaning to) is the sales patter coming from the person behind the counter.
We generally will dismiss his/her talk as 'salesmanship' but do you agree that he has the power of persuasion? He cajoles, argues, and finally persuades you to shell your precious dough.

So what is it that he has that makes you so malleable in his hands?

Obviously he is empathetic and establishes the connect with you quite effortlessly
He enters your world- how? by listening to you carefully
He understands your body language and he patterns his body language to it
He has the gift of the gab- all good businessmen,entrepreneurs, politicians, in fact all successful people have this gift
He understands human emotions; the foibles and frailties, all of it

You may think how all these is possible when we are spending such a short time with him?

Malcolm Gladwell in his book "Blink" gives a very good and logical explanation to this phenomena. In fact he asserts that all of us use this technique called- Thin Slicing. It is the perception our mind has when we first meet a person or situation and  surprisingly, it is 9 out of 10 times absolutely correct!

The art of persuasion depend on thin slicing technique to a large extent and then it is followed by all the effort one puts into it. The quicker and better the bond we establish with the 'customer' the higher and better is the sale quantum.

So next time you buy something needlessly know that you been 'Persuaded' 

            8 things that make me see red!

Coming back from office to see the house littered

Cribbing about workload

Expecting beyond one's abilities

Disrespecting elders

Finding fault in everyone and everything

Using foul language and gestures

Dissatisfied people

Hypochondriacs

The desire to be beautiful

Man or woman, everyone desires to be beautiful. The mirror asserts our image as we grow up and slowly our self image takes a firm shape in our minds.This helps in creating our self esteem also.

You may have noticed that a child spends little time in front of the mirror,but as he grows older the time increases exponentially. Every girl or boy thinks of himself as the most desirable and beautiful person on earth...God's gift to the opposite sex. In some cases self love or narcissism sets in quite early and continues for a long long time.

Whatever be the case the desire to look beautiful is a very strong instinct and we spend both time and money to appear the best. An entire industry runs on this psychology which is exploited to the maximum. Strangely it has nothing to do with age or social strata.How others see us is perhaps equally important and relevant in seeing ourselves in our own eyes.

The only aspect which we tend to forget in this mad rush to be beautiful is the fact that we need to be beautiful from within. There are no cosmetics to do it for us. It's something which we need to work upon on our own. But the reward for it is tremendous; it complements our physical beauty and adds to our personality.

Cleopatra was supposed to be the most beautiful lady in the ancient world and so was Helen of Troy for whom a 10 year war was fought! But the essential difference between the two is cone stood for the bold,courageous and magnetic beauty while the other was the garden variety type. Both enamored, both brought massive destruction yet both remain examples even today of great beauty.

These two aspects of beauty certainly tell us that beauty really lies in the eyes of the beholder 

Managing New Gadgets

Tough job, right? All these days I had thought of myself as gadget-savvy; after all I could work on the computer,run various household gadgets,talk intelligently on newbies coming into the market. Imagine my surprise and shock when I relate the following incident.

 It so happened that last week I bought a camera. This was primarily for my use and sometimes to be used by sonny dear.

No big deal! A small luxury or maybe not even that.....But after buying it I realised that there are more additional attachments which may/will be required later if I have to pursue this hobby, so pehla dhakka.
The second dhakka was that the gadget is too highend for me as it has be manipulated with scores of adjustments!
Third mukka(for now the dhakka has turned to mukka only)- some physics and mathematical calculations required for focus,light and dark shades,etc......Phew!


I am keeping a straight face and persevering with my tinkering, fast approaching a position when I know it will become my son's domain

You understand where all this leading to? Straight out of my hands to new generation sonny. Well i stand defeated and chastened till my next run-in with another gadget


                                                  
                                             

RANDOM THOUGHTS

                                               

The story of Krishna's birth is known to everyone; mothers,fathers and grandparents tell these lores to the children and it is passed on from generation to generation.Similarly Rama's birth and his sojourn culminating in getting Sita back is also another mythology deeply ingrained in every home in our country. Our moral and spiritual education takes on all these stories at its core.

When we look at Rama and at Krishna, we find lots of essential contrasts. Rama is 'maryada purushottam' whereas Krishna is our 'makhan chor' 'raas rachaeita' 'master planner of kurukshetra' 'skillful negotiator' and so much more.

Krishna in comparison to Rama looks a more colorful character and more humane with his faults,his sly ways, his love affairs,marriages and finally his message The Gita. Rama in comparison seems quite dull; more of a follower of rules,conventions and societal norms.His message is never direct but always what he lived for through his entire life.
The modern world can find more meaning to Krishna's teachings as the principles behind it looks more suitable and matching with our current society, it's diabolical ways, the intricate relationships,the overlying and underlying meaning to even commonplace transactions.

We  revere Lord Rama but we love Lord Krishna
We look upto Lord Rama but find ourselves one with Lord Krishna
We rarely can match Lord Rama's call to duty but find kinship with Lord Krishna transgressions
We fear Lord Rama's 'Laxman rekha' but feel happy with Lord Krishna's convulated thinking
But we need both Rama and Krishna, in our lives!

Revenge.................the art of it

Recently read some interesting articles,essays on this topic. In some it is advocated that revenge is justified as the wronged person gets the satisfaction of redress. But for that to happen revenge has to taken by first making the person know by name and action that you have taken revenge. Because to revenge silently does not give so much satisfaction!!

Another school of thought says that revenge is only possible by rising above it and letting the wrong be ignored as this gives the wronged person a better and cleaner feeling as it showers peace and God's blessing on him.This school of thought enjoins us to forgive and forget. The wrong done can never be righted and one should rise above such petty comeuppance and pardon the wrong doer.

One more philosophy says that to pardon the wrong done by a acquaintance is still an option but wrong done by a friend should never be forgiven or pardoned. A treacherous and faithless friend can never be pardoned as he is more detrimental than the other.

My question to all readers is what is more beneficial to let go Or to take revenge and then let go?